After a
small eternity of probably a few seconds, the white noise began to fade. I
started to make out vague blurred shapes, but my other senses remained
inoperative.
Gradually
the blurred shapes grew more defined. Sudden hope. Was that my bedside table
there? Or that other blur, the painting on our bedroom’s far wall?
… No.
I was not
in our bedroom.
I was still
outside.
But not
outside where I had been, in 2070. Not even close.
One of the
decreasingly blurred shapes finally revealed its full glory: the unmistakable
form of a tyrannosaurus rex. The red flesh of its latest kill spilled from its
jaws, blood caked its teeth and chin.
Overwhelmed
by the sight, it took me some time to realise the dinosaur was not moving. Like
every feature of the surrounding landscape, it was motionless.
Then I
realised my own state in this mind-boggling scene was equally impossible. As
before, my only functioning sense was vision. And yet, I could not see my body,
however much I shifted my field of view.
I seemed to
be a disembodied viewpoint, one that I could somehow shift seemingly at will,
though this was small consolation for being trapped in a frozen prehistoric
landscape, unable to even speak—or, more pertinently, scream.
Fearful
beyond imagining, at my wit’s end, I watched in confused dismay as the scene
suddenly blurred, and was rapidly replaced by another, even more baffling and unsettling: a landscape
rich with vegetation, akin to jungle, but with hardly any plants or animals
familiar; most were far more colourful, especially the many exotic vibrant
flowers. More startling still: pale shapes, floating here and there, vaguely
human, translucent, hairless, with huge craniums, naked but sexless. Again, no
movement.
Persisting
for less time than did the dinosaur, the scene blurred away and was replaced.
The
blurring made me wonder if I was on Orlanos, surrounded by shapeshifters in
their equivalent of a callisthenics class. Or perhaps the psychological
experiment I had previously considered as explanation for events was
continuing.
A new scene
formed around me: proto-humans, half-man, half-ape, were clustered round a
deer-like carcase, tearing at raw flesh with bare hands, blood dripping down
chins. Yet again, a moment frozen in time, with no visible movement. It lasted for
an even shorter duration.
More
blurring to another bizarre landscape: night, pockets of lights glimmering in
the distance, barely brighter than unrecognisable constellations. A foreground
dominated by trees, possibly luminescent. In the midst: an object whose purpose
I could not even guess. A construction? If so, then like none I’d ever seen: some
parts open, full of frames and girders, like sculptures or mobiles—the rest
closed, like distorted ornate medieval churches. Made of a single substance,
perhaps, but not brick, wood, cement, steel or anything familiar. Inexplicably,
I thought it might be organic. Like surrounding trees, it seemed to radiate its
own pale light. But its position among the trees was hard to fathom, rendering
its scale uncertain.
The image
blurred again, more quickly than the previous time. I returned to the past.
Another frozen moment: thousands of toiling sun-darkened men dragging slabs of
rock up steep slopes to the top of an unfinished pyramid.
Before I
knew it, the scene abruptly changed to something more familiar yet not: a small
city seen from afar and above, separated from others by green belts, not unlike
the town planning formats of 2070. But the buildings were not at all like those
of Chord or surrounding cities, or anywhere else: they were full of odd angles,
towers, spires, seemingly functionless protuberances, with colours in profusion
and few regularities—a seemingly chaotic jumble.
A thought came
from nowhere: it was many centuries at least beyond 2070—and the earlier
baffling landscapes were further still into the future. I was being flung
backwards and forwards, with increasing rapidity, between past and future, each
instance—each instant—drawing closer to the present.
The next
scene was consistent with my theory: a religious procession in the main street
of what might have been an old European city—perhaps post-Renaissance, but then
history was Ernest’s specialty not mine. Indeed, for all I knew, I was looking
at a re-creation performed yesterday.
Wherever it
was, though, I was clearly not constrained to the location I’d started from, in
2070.
Not only when but where would I finally end up? If anywhere?
The
procession vanished, as I was flung to another tantalising glimpse of the
future: a streetscape even more closely resembling those of 2070. Then, I was
plucked back to the past.
Back and
forth I went between past and future, ever faster, an unwilling witness to familiar
episodes from history, baffling glimpses of uncertain future events, and mundane
moments of domesticity…
A guillotine
execution. A future Christmas pageant. An Edwardian gentleman, shaving. A flourishing
national park with oddly dressed tourists. Congested city streets and Model T
Fords. Futuristic cars and trains. Neon lights. A robot factory unlike any
other. Vietnam War demonstrations. A cityscape transformed. Test cricket with
Lillee squatting in mid-appeal. Swimmers with dolphins. Modern battleships,
cannons blazing. A communal garden. Stock exchange chaos. A frantic restaurant
kitchen. A dole queue. An election launch like any other, except for the
unrecognisable faces.
Scenes
became ever briefer, transitions more clear cut. Still I could neither hear nor
smell nor taste anything. Gradually, however, tactile sensations were returning.
I felt I was lying on my back, my arms outstretched behind my head.
The scenes
changed more quickly—and my body faded into view.
Ever more quickly,
soon too fast to follow, came the confusing kaleidoscope of historical moments.
Amid the commotion, incongruously, without any apparent reason, I felt the
stirrings of an unbidden erection. Not
here, I thought, feeling a slave to mindless hormones.
But there
was nothing I could do to stop it.
Constantly
shifting images of past and future swapped, blurring together into an
indecipherable jumble, mounting like my erection—until both reached their
logical conclusion.
The jumble
of images became a smear of white light, which brightened in no time to the
point of blinding me. Then suddenly, everything changed: the bright light
vanished, and my sight returned.
Yvette—my
wife—was on top of me, riding frantically, midway through an obvious climax, as
lightning lit up the room and a storm raged.
I was home!
In our bedroom. In our bed. The moment I had left. As if I had never been gone.
As if no time had passed.
Ecstatic,
relieved beyond all possibility of doing adequate justice to my feelings with
words, I waited until Yvette began to peter out and lower herself to the
horizontal, then I tilted up to meet her halfway. I embraced her, kissed her.
No
excessive tiredness from this particular trip through time! So great my joy and
passion at again seeing Yvette, so vigorous my affection, by the time she
caught her breath we had swapped positions and began what for her at least was
a second helping.
Later, in
afterglow, still wrapped in each other’s arms, she quickly drifted off to
sleep, but I stayed alert for some time. In the security of my own bedroom,
surrounded by the familiar, blissfully adrift in my wife’s embrace, the events
of the preceding days seemed even more unreal than ever. Had I imagined them?
Was everything I experienced in the future a figment of my imagination? It
couldn’t have been a dream, as I’d maintained. Surely? Unless it was one that
lasted for only a split second. Was that possible? Could it instead have been some
sort of vision, or epiphany? A result of a blood vessel bursting in my brain?
Was there a physiological explanation for it?
Eventually,
drained and exhausted, but happy and utterly content, I fell asleep.
In the
morning, wakened by the sound of my alarm clock, the future I had glimpsed or
imagined seemed even less real.
Bright sun spilled
through windows, as I heard the ensuite shower running, and the kids bickering
in the next room about what TV show to watch.
I was
really home.
Back to
work, I realised.
I always
woke as late as possible—still early, given the commuting ahead of me—but this
made my morning routine a bit of a rush: out the door usually within half an
hour, breakfast in the form of a snack bar on the train. Probably something I
should change. One day.
I moved to
the bathroom, smiled as I saw Yvette showering, asked how she’d slept (“very well”), responded in kind to her
identical question, and started shaving.
It had to have been a dream—even though, unlike
my usual dreams, I could remember its details in full. For now at least. They’d
probably fade away soon. Perhaps they were already fading: in the clear light
of morning, I decided I’d probably mis-remembered at least the timing of the
dream—it must have happened after I
fell asleep, not during sex.
Perhaps I
had dreamed the sex too.
Probably
not, I decided, when Yvette stepped from the shower, put a wet arm round my
waist and kissed me on a shoulder.
“Hey!” she
said, jovially, “All your energy last night must have shed a kilo.” She rubbed
her hand across my stomach.
I turned,
leant back to kiss her. “There’s a dieting regime I can handle.” I returned my
attention to shaving.
“Looks like
it made your hair grow too.”
In the
mirror, I could see her surprised expression as she ran her fingers through my
hair. “Huh?”
“Look for
yourself.”
I checked
in the mirror. “Doesn’t look any longer.”
She shook
her head, and started towelling herself dry. “I’d have sworn it was a bit shorter
last night.”
I checked
again, but still could not see what she saw.
“When did
you do that?” she said. Bent over to towel her lower legs, she was motionless,
pointing at my left foot. The smaller toes and surrounds were livid with fading
bruises. The smallest toe had a needle thin hole in the centre of its nail.
I was
struck dumb.
I had no
memory of the injury—not in the real world that is, only in the dream. The supposed dream. Yet I could not deny
that my foot bore the residual damage of having been caught in the door of
Wilbur’s car.
My knees
suddenly weak, I stumbled momentarily, before leaning heavily on the bathroom
bench.
It must
have really happened.
“Are you
all right?” said Yvette, full of concern.
“I… I think
so.” I needed time to think.
“So? What
happened?” said Yvette.
Could it have? Really? Or was there another
explanation?
“Just a
momentary dizziness,” I said. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Are you
sure?”
“Yes, I’m
sure… Still, I think I might phone in sick today. Just to be on the safe side.”
She looked
at me with confusion and suspicion, but said nothing. She knew I rarely took
sick leave, not unless I was all but bedridden.
But at that
moment, I needed time off work. To try
to sort out just what had happened.
Had it actually
been real? Or was it all in my mind?
I soon
realised, however, that it didn’t matter. Whether it happened or not was
ultimately not even relevant. It was of no importance whether the knowledge I’d
gained and the ideas I’d been exposed to were really those in use forty years
in the future, or whether they were figments of my imagination drifting up for
god knows what reason from the deepest layers of my subconscious—what mattered
was what I did with them.
The fear I
felt when Ernest spoke of me, in effect, as being the architect of the future
now seemed absurd. Perhaps my decisions and actions were bound to create the
future, or change it—but then that is always
the issue. For all of us.
“So,” said
Yvette, “are you going to tell me what happened to your foot?”
I turned to
her. “Yes.”
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Afterword![]() |